May 18, 2003

The Jamba Empire

I hate Jamba Juice. I mean it. I'm serious. I hate Jamba Juice! But I love it. I can't stop. I'm going insane! Damn you Jamba! It's all your fault.

For the past month or so, I've been drinking Jamba Juice on the average of 5 times a week -- at a cost of approximately $4 per smoothie, this is $20 a week ... gone ... gone to the evil Jamba empire. Why is it so good? Why is it so expensive? Why does it NOT fill you up, leaving you asking for more food in about an hour? And why the HELL can't I stop drinking it? I bet it's laced with the 21st century version of nicotine, a yet unpublicized carcinogenic/addictive agent that will cause my generation to suffer from cancer of the aorta in 40 years. Who really knows what shit they put in there when they blend it and stuff. NO ONE! It's a goddamn conspiracy is what it is. A conspiracy to waste my money and possibly to kill me. Goddamn conspiracies.

I woke up at 8am today (yes, a Sunday), because I ended up wasting the entire day yesterday doing nothing. I headed to the library, and spent about 2 hours there. I got hungry, so I headed over to southside to get some food, and was inexplicably drawn to the evil shop on Bancroft. You know what I'm talking about. I don't want to say the name. I ordered the usual (strawberries wild with protein) and then the lady never asked for my name. I was like, what the hell? So, I said, my name is Rohit, R-O-H-I-T, automatically. She said, oh I know -- I remember. That made me really sad. How the hell did the Jamba Juice lady know my name? Incidently, I probably shouldn't say "lady," because I'm sure she was younger than me by a few years, but oh well. I'm pathetic. The Jamba Juice people know my name. Kill me! The only thing worse would be if the Starbucks people knew my name. Who knows ... maybe they do. I have a "usual" order there too. Damn corporate America and their damn expensive, novelty beverages!

Back to the wasting of money though. I headed back to the library, and about 2 hours later (around 1pm), I was hungry again. This was AFTER the $4 smoothie. So I ended up spending another five dollars getting some half-ass excuse for a salad at FSM, where they love stealing your money while you study futiley and waste away physically.

Maybe in 20 years, there will be "truth.com" commercials about how Jamba Juice is really a death drink. That would be kind of funny, except I would probably end up being the sorry loser who dies from a Jamba Juice related illness. On the bright side, it seems as if though my metabolism isn't slowing. I had feared this was the case when I gained like 5 lbs in just a month, but no worries. I'm still eating Dominos pizzas by the boxes and no weight gain yet. I swear, as soon as my metabolism slows down, I'm gonna be SOO fat. Now that's an image, huh? Rohit, fat? Haha!

The rest of my day was spent off and on at the library, in two hour stints. I got some stuff done, but my MiniDisc player died during the afternoon, and I couldn't study in the shitty Moffitt Library with all the noise. I left, and went home, then returned at night (and didn't go to Moffitt).

Some numbers for all y'all:

• One week left until I move to Unit 3, Ida Sproul 213 for CalSO!
• Three days left until sophomore year is over.
• Two finals (EE 20 & Chem 3b) left!
• Four boxes of Mac & Cheese left to finish before I move. Oh God!

Also, in doing nothing yesterday, I did move all my pictures to Gallery, which I had wanted to do for a while, but never had the chance. It looks pretty nice! The main impetus for this transition was because I got tired of maintaining the pics gallery I had wrote, and Gallery is way more user-friendly. I'm working on a complete redesign of my site, which should be released as soon as finals are over. ALMOST DONE!!!