July 18, 2003

Life After CalSO

Is there a life after CalSO?   I don't really know.   CalSO was one of the best experiences I have ever had in my entire life, and by far, the best summer yet.   Now that it's over, I don't really know how to go about reintegrating into society.

For almost 8 weeks, from the end of finals, to right now, my life was consumed by CalSO.   I lived, ate, slept, and breathed CalSO from 5am to 12am, without rest or even time to relax.   During the CalSO End of Summer banquet, I couldn't even believe that it was over.   It did not strike me really that everything was finished until later that evening, after the talent show and the awards, when one of my coworkers had tears in her eyes, and I realized that I felt sadder now than I had at my high school graduation.   I couldn't believe it - how could the last six months have affected me more than four years of high school?

I think the intensity of the experience was what made saying goodbye so difficult.   After spending nearly every waking moment of everyday with the same people, it was so hard to think about not having that any longer.   For the first time here at Cal, I feel like I have made some very good friends.   One of my friends mentioned how he had found "community" within CalSO when he did it a few years back.   I finally understood what he meant at the end of the banquet.   It really was a phenomenal experience.

Since returning home last night, I have found it hard trying to begin to reintegrate into society.   I've tried calling up friends that I hadn't talked to in a long time, but then I realized that I didn't bring my Handspring with me, and so I have no address book with me.   Not to mention, a lot of people are not even online.   I guess I'm going to have to resort to the old-fashioned way: emailing people.   What's worse - I have found it hard not having something to do for every moment of the day.   I kept so busy with CalSO stuff during programs that now that I have absolutely nothing to do for a week, I find myself wanting to go back to Berkeley and start RA training so that my time will be occupied.

Not all is lost with my time off though.   I've been using my time to finish up my new website, and also to research 35mm SLR cameras.   After CalSO, I have a strong desire to take advantage of all that Berkeley has to offer, so I'm planning to enroll in a photography class and a tennis class next fall.   No doubt it can't hurt - I need to expand my horizons beyond class and work!