April 05, 2006

Confessions of a Prolific Profligate

Perhaps twenty years from now, as the pressures of mortgages, marriage, middle age, and mediocrity mount, I will look back upon the decisions I took in my early twenties with a mixture of regret and nostalgia, simultaneously pining for and revolting against the licentious lifestyle that came to embody my yuppie years. Certainly, the same cannot be said for the self-righteous hordes that look upon my actions with contempt and condemnation today, secure in their oft-preached, rarely practiced virtues of purity, security, and monogamy.

Perhaps the future for me holds nothing but repentance, but for the moment, there are no apologies, no remorse, no contrition. You see, dear reader, for my colleagues and I, philandering isn't so much an indulgence as it is a necessity, borne not of desire, but of decree.