March 07, 2004

Truth and Astrology

I am usually not the kind of guy to put too much stock into astrology, although I admit that I can't completely discount it either. Anyway, in the course of trying to waste time, I idly clicked on some link in a friend's profile and came across the Alcohol Horoscope, which I think I had seen before, but am not really sure. Reading it again, though, made me stop and think about the accuracy of astrology—it was dead on!

Below is my horoscope:

Libra

Drinking Style

I'm jusht a social drinker, slurs Libra, it's jusht that I'm so damn social? Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to on) or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble—including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

Trademark cocktails

Aesthetic Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a brandy Alexander. That's the influence of Venus, their ruling planet, which also gives them a horror of crudely named potions like Sex on the Beach. They're fine with normal guzzles like apple martinis, but every Libra secretly just wants Champagne, and lots of it.

Drinking buddies

Jimmy Carter, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco, Janeane Garofalo, Hugh Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde, Catherine Zeta-Jones

Not only that. Reading other people's horoscopes found many more accurate descriptions. What a great way to waste time! How accurate is your horoscope?