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// / archive / 2005 / 03 / 13 / pop-ya-collar

March 13, 2005

Pop Ya Collar

Despite my fine-tuned eye for all things poseur, it was brought to my attention yesterday that I had completely missed a crucial development in poseur-land, which now requires my unrestrained commentary. Interestingly enough, when Phil pointed out that he had recently noticed a lot of poseur idiots walking around Clark Kerr with popped collars and asked me why I hadn't yet ripped these fools, I noted the extent to which I had completely ignored this phenomenon. Although I had perhaps seen it subconsciously several times, I had never stopped to think how stupid it looks. Well, there's a first time for everything.

After thinking about it for a while, I have been able to come up with only three potential reasons why people might do something so strange:

  1. They are too lazy or too absentminded to notice that their collar is not set correctly and thus walk around with a popped collar being a testament to their social ineptitude, similar to walking around with one's fly open.
  2. They took Usher's song, Pop Ya Collar, way too seriously and so in addition to looking unkempt, they like bad music.
  3. They actually believe that they are hot shit and thus, have to pop their collar, so that all of us can know this as well.

The first reason seems unlikely, but I wouldn't put it past engineers, and other equally socially incapable people. Worse, given the fact that this particular group of people is hopeless to begin with, there's not much I can say that will change anything. The only solution is to do what we always do, and that is to keep these people away from us, locked away in basements and other subterranean locations, where their unkempt appearance won't adulterate the population as a whole.

The second group of people is equally hopeless. Although not socially incapable, they enjoy pop music and thus are people not worth the oxygen that they breathe (at least engineers are useful). I suppose we could try to round up all these fools and lock them in a room with MTV playing 24/7 and maybe that will kill them, but I'm not sure; they might thrive in such an environment, and then we'd have an even larger infestation.

Finally, the third group—my personal favorites. Frankly, in my opinion, there aren't enough bullets in the world for these assholes. They're like cockroaches—kill a couple, but more just keep popping up (ha!)—you can't get rid of them! Here's what I have to say to you, if you are one: Listen you trendy poser piece of shit—you are not hot shit or cool shit or anything but shit! Furthermore, popping your collar will never, ever change the fact that you are a worthless slave to an even more worthless culture of ineptitude and incompetence. The only people who probably find it cool or attractive are those who are even more miserably deluded and less deserving of the resources they consume than you. Do us all a favor and take your idiotic popped collar, your prefabricated torn khaki shorts, and your hopelessly trendy ass back to West LA—I'm sure you'll fit right in.

(PS: To all the people I know who actually do pop their collars, please stop or I'll have to say this to your face, which might be unpleasant.)


Thank you Rohit. Thank you. It's nice to know that when I need someone to get made fun of I can turn to you. That's a true friend.

the other day i was thinking to "pop my collar" on a red polo and wear it under a black hoodie, just to give my outfit some red/black contrast instead of the usual all-black getup. is this bad? i never heard the usher song, and don't look twice at the herds of college kids wandering about. *shrug*

Can you hate on people who don't move when you're trying to get by at a party next?

I hate those motherfuckers. Eat shit and die, but first fucking MOVE!

Angie, believe me - you don't count, for several reasons, of which I don't even know if I could articulate. I suppose some big ones are: (1) you're not a guy and (2) you're not an idiot and (3) you're definitely not a poser. This post is really addressed to freshman-types who somehow confused Grease for Berkeley.

Cody, don't worry - I hate those bastards too - I would actually classify them as a subset of slow-moving assholes everywhere who ought to be shot on the spot.

You stupid fucker, I pop my collar because I fucking like it and always have. I don't give a fuck how much you degrade me, I have more a life than ANY of you hating motherfuckers do. I have more fucking girls at my hands, and more of a job working at AE, and more of a fucking life than you ever will. Get your fat ass off this computer if your going to hate bitch, stop degrading people better than you. Girl's check my pictures, much better than most of the idiots here crying about the style. Email me if you got problems.

girls at your hands. who cares. they are probably all fake and just as vain as you. get off the computer and go get laid.
degrading people better... dude has a point. popped collars are lame and poser-ish. get your own style and quite following others.
you work at AE. what more of a job could you possibly have?! bag my clothes bitch.

Wow! I guess somebody feels a little hurt that they don't fit in socially that they make up and entire website over somebody "popping thier collar" Truely its not a big deal, but to you Rohit, its the end of the world. Is there a reason why this really bothers you? It couldn't possibly be the fact that you are so angry that you just don't fit in with the world? Childhood must have been so bad for you? GET OVER IT. IF you want to talk about worthless pieces of shit, do me a favor, read your comment! Who cares if a bunch of kids want to "pop their collar" At least they are getting social interaction, which is more than I can say for you! I can't really say that im sorry for that, other than, maybe, you brought it on your self. Just because you have gotten turned down by well every girl doesn't make it the end of the world! Do us all the favor, end your life, if it truely is that bad!

Wes, please refer to this letter I wrote last year. While it does not address your comment specifically, I believe it summarizes my views on the points you bring up fairly succinctly.

Also, be sure to check out my new policy on posting comments.

Regards, Rohit

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