August 26, 2010

Redemption (Part Two)

Redemption, it seems, does not come easy. About five months ago—March 22, to be exact—in an acknowledgment of how far I had fallen during my time in law school, I set forth a rather unambitious goal for myself: read two books—for fun—by the end of [] spring break. Given the steady rate of book consumption during my restive pre–law school days, this should have been no big deal.

But it was. After making quick progress with the first, A Tale of Two Cities, I bogged down. Maybe it was the interminable paper I was writing that week, or maybe I picked a book that was too long (usually not a problem for yours truly), or maybe the fact that it was nonfiction made it move slowly. For whatever reason, though, I didn't finish a second book that break. I didn't even get close. And I wouldn't for the next five months. With the whirlwind race to graduation during spring, and then the awful summer of study, reading for fun was hardly a priority. But though the indelible stench of unmitigated failure may consume me, the aura of incompleteness does not. In this post, I review Ghost Wars: The Secret History of the CIA, Afghanistan, and Bin Laden, from the Soviet Invasion to September 10, 2001 by Steve Coll. Better late than never.

August 19, 2010

R and G's Excellent Adventure

Road Trip Route
August 7–12, 2010

Last I left you, dear readers, I was in Chicago and in the midst of a two month long stint in hell, otherwise known as preparation for the much anticipated bar examination. Today, about a month later, the setting is quite different: I am about 2,000 miles away from Chicago in the OC, and with little but inanities and existential angst to occupy my time. As the story of my road trip from Chicago to California is far more interesting than either the fear or self-loathing leading up to the bar, or anything that has elapsed since, I begin with that. The rest is for another time—or more likely, never.

Before delving into specifics, a summary is in order. The journey was six days in my dear old car, the RSX, departing Chicago, IL, on August 7, 2010, and arriving in Irvine, CA, on August 12, 2010. I was accompanied by my friend, known for purposes of this most worthless of sites as G-Force, and notable stops along the way included: allegedly one of the largest crosses in the Western Hemisphere in Groom, TX; the International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell, NM; four tire stores in Van Horn, TX; the Prada Marfa art installation in Valentine, TX; a Walmart Lube and Tire Center in El Paso, TX; the south rim of the Grand Canyon; the Hoover Dam; and unexpectedly, Las Vegas, NV. The map nearby reflects the course we took. More detail after the jump.

July 07, 2010

Briefly Noted on a Midsummer's Evening

In a recent turn of events that probably shocked many of you, and certainly surprised yours truly, my posting frequency in May actually rose to an average of one per week, the same rate I had long averaged in my restive pre–law school days, before plummeting again dismally in June. But whereas the deafening silence on this site over the past three years has been attributable mostly to what I last year deemed a loss of inspiration, the silence that persists vexatiously even today has a little to do with having nothing (crazy) to say and much to do with having no time in which to say it. (Nothing like studying for a licensing exam to make you appreciate meaninglessness, I suppose.)

Thus, as much for my own sanity as anything else, I thought I might briefly note some recent occurrences that, were I not consumed by a pernicious combination of unbridled anxiety and staggering overconfidence with regards to the bar exam, I would likely expound on more satisfactorily:

• As alluded to earlier, I graduated from law school, which is really to say that despite my best efforts at self-sabotage, I nonetheless managed to complete the requirements necessary to get a degree. And I didn't even trip while crossing the stage. In a life otherwise rife with failure, it's these small things that truly make the difference—or not.
• With the end of law school came an event that I have long looked forward to: I may have made my last trip down to (much loathed) Hyde Park last week for the foreseeable future. (God, I hope I'm not speaking too soon.)
• Speaking of lasts, the countdown on my time in Chicago has begun: I am scheduled to leave in less than a month.
• But before that can happen, I need to make it through the next weeks—a task easier said than done.

With that, dear readers, I bid you adieu, at least for the next month, while I concentrate on learning all the law I was supposed to have learned in law school. (Fairness? Justice? What the hell?) If all goes well, I will see y'all on the flip side; if it doesn't, well, it probably wouldn't matter anyway.

June 03, 2010

Ramblings on Privacy and Limited Access

Ever since the latest (though very likely, not the last) Facebook privacy brouhaha broke out last month, I have been struggling to formulate my thoughts on the subject into a coherent position. It has not been easy. My initial reaction was both simple and simplistic: Want privacy? Don't put shit on the Internet you wouldn't be comfortable with the entire world knowing or seeing. And as a theoretical matter, that's probably exactly right: with most positions in people's respective relationship portfolio occupied by commodity and deadweight relationships, there is no telling when betrayal might next strike. Indeed, under generally accepted principles of the venerable Realm, namely that all personal interactions are better treated as corporate transactions, we might expect that a betrayal is likely as soon as the counterparty gets a better deal (somehow defined) elsewhere. So, when reputational costs and the like associated with betraying a friendship exceed the benefits derived therefrom, we should expect—and in fact, for the sake of all that is efficient holy, demand—that at least the commodities and deadweight relationships and maybe even the value-added ones sell us out. Efficient breach! Social utility! Fuck the poor! (Wait, what?)

But the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that both as a normative and practical matter, this sort of approach to living is neither desirable nor attainable. And it is precisely that notion that I will occupy myself with in this post.

May 26, 2010

Ruminations About Law and School (Part 2)

Last week, I wrote over 1200 words (I swear I can't piss without dropping a thousand words of gibberish) on a decidedly banal topic—constitutional law. More specifically, I described a few absurdities that have long plagued the Constitution and could easily be fixed. Two finals deep, and with my last final of law school looming, I thought it would be appropriate tonight to author the companion piece to last week's rumination: shit that's wrong with statutory law that could easily be fixed. (I promise, dear readers, that this will be my last foray into substantive legal topics for a long time. Existential angst and despair will return in short order.)

May 20, 2010

Ruminations About Law and School (Part 1)

It is rather fitting, I think, that the same day that marked the passage of my last law school class was also the one on which I discovered, much to my chagrin, my first gray hair. The last three years, as I have observed repeatedly before, have not been kind, either on my health or my mental disposition. And as the reality begins to set in—I am actually done with law school?—the inevitable question that will follow in the weeks to come is already looming: Was it worth?

But the end of classes is not quite the end of law school. With three finals left to complete, the chances of soul-crushing failure remain as high as ever (indeed, over a lifetime, those chances are necessarily 100 percent), and as such, I will defer the nostalgia and existential angst to another day. The end of classes, however, does provide an opportune moment to reflect on the subject of my endeavors over the past three years, and more importantly, the infuriating aspects thereof. In that vein, in the next two posts, I will discuss aspects of both constitutional and statutory law that simply don't make sense and should be fixed—immediately. (There goes my Senate confirmability—oh wait, too late.)

May 15, 2010

Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness

There was a time in my life where I would often find myself sitting alone in a dark room in the middle of the night, my face illuminated only by the faint glow of my computer monitor, furiously pounding away on the keyboard, the week-old beard, unkempt hair, and dark circles under my eyes a testament to my hard core ways. After all, I was once a (much reviled) engineer, and more importantly, a code monkey. And though the painful awkwardness, perpetual loneliness, and paralyzing sexual frustration characteristic of my past life as a computer science major have all remained with me, I had thought the days (and nights) of bitter and futile fights with technology were a distant memory. So much the worse, then, that my horrid return to late night keyboard pounding would come as a consequence of something so atrocious I can barely stomach thinking about it even now: installing Windows 7. Excuse me for a second; I am going to be sick.

May 07, 2010

On the Recent and Unhappy Turn to Seriousness in Life

Last night, I was sitting around at home (alone, in the dark, and on the ground, obviously) contemplating the utter futility of human existence instead of out being a forlorn degenerate when a singularly peculiar thought crossed my mind: somewhere along the way, people around me started getting rather serious with their lives. Like, really fucking serious. I am talking about marriage, mortgages, white picket fences, and babies. What? Ew. This observation, moreover, is not merely limited to my friends in Chicago (or those in law school, even); every month these days, it seems, I hear of a new engagement, marriage, baby, or some other colossally momentous life event from all corners of my social network and all across the world. And if my brilliant predictions of yesteryear turn out correct, the onslaught of first divorces and second marriages is, no doubt, only a precious few years away.

When did this happen? When did everyone around me apparently become an adult? When did formerly reviled notions of commitment and family replace the futile pursuits of drinking and debauchery? And why the fuck am I still sitting at home, alone, in the dark, and on the ground contemplating the futility of my (and your) existence? Is it time I turned on the light and bought a chair, so to speak? (Perish the thought!)

May 04, 2010

Thoughts on Montréal

Redemption, alas, is not as easily achieved as it is written about. My lofty goal of approximately a month ago—finish two books for fun prior to the end of my Spring Break—was a calamitous failure. Indeed, even today, I have not managed to complete that second novel. (Choosing a dense and lengthy Russian novel as my second book might have been ill-advised.) The result should not come as much of a surprise to long time readers: woeful inadequacy, all consuming and everlasting, is as much a part of my (necessarily futile) existence as dark hair and emaciation.

Such failures have not, however, stopped me from continuing onward in the meaningless drift toward ultimate demise. The last weekend saw me in Montréal, Canada, and I recount my impressions and experience below.

March 26, 2010

Redemption (Part One)

Earlier this week, I set out a goal for myself: read two books for fun by the end of the week. If I was an optimistic person, I might have taken the numerous responses I received to that entry to sympathize or discuss books as a sign that reading is still alive and well amongst a populace inexplicably hypnotized by the abomination of reality television. But I am not an optimistic person, and a more likely explanation is simply that I am stuck in an bibliophilic echo chamber with others who pride themselves on not knowing, understanding, or caring of the ways of the (much loathed) unwashed masses.

Regardless, I am happy to report that as of today, I am 75 percent of the way to completion. In this entry, I will review my first book (which I completed earlier this week), and in next, I will discuss the one I'm making my way through this weekend.