May 04, 2003

The Beginning of the End

Well not exactly, because it's only the beginning of the end of my sophomore year of college. Still, it feels like more than just that. School in the last week has definitely shown signs of ending. I'm not saying I'm upset about that. I did tear up a little bit at the end of my last ochem lab last week, but that was because acetic anhydride is a potent lacrymator, and even onions from two rooms away make me tear up. I guess I'm just sensitive like that. I finished up the write up for that lab today. It felt good to know I would never have to bullshit another chem lab report again. Last week of instruction coming up this week (except for those two bullshit days the following week that prevent us from having a real "dead week"). I'm really waiting for this semester to end. I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY tired of school at this point.

This semester, and moreover, this last calendar year, have been very strenuous for me. I took two techs in summer, another four in fall, and then this semester I took 6 classes. It's been tiring and hard. I need the vacation. I'm looking forward to not having school for the next three months. Even though this semester was relatively fun and interesting, I'm still very tired of it. PChem has gotten super irritating and I definitely can't wait to be out of that class. EE 20 has stopped making sense and that's bad news, because I'm emphasizing in signals and systems. In any case, school just seems to be winding to a close. Three weeks and I'm out.

But, when I say beginning of the end, I mean a lot more than just school. I posted my furniture page today, and got about 20 responses and/or questions in the last three hours. In many ways, me selling off my furniture is just one more sign of how everything is coming to a close. I'm moving out of my apartment three weeks from today. It's crazy thinking about that, not only because there is so much left to do before then, but because of the implications that the act of moving has. It seems that moving out of this apartment is going to bring closure to this school year, in the same way that moving out of the dorms brought closure for my freshman year. For those that don't know, I decided to be a RA (Resident Assistant) next year, and I got a job for Unit 3. So it's back to the dorms I go! I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. It's going to be weird returning to the dorms after a year out, but more on that later. I packed up my subwoofer yesterday. Planning to pack books this week. Clothes will be going to the suitcase soon. Everything around me just seems to be ending.

But to tell you the truth, I'm not particularly sad about that. I did not like living on northside at all. All my friends live on southside, my work is on southside, food is on southside, and I'm looking forward to returning to southside. This entire year, I felt like I had to try extra hard to hang out with people and keep in touch because of the distance. I'm not kidding -- those extra few blocks really make a difference. Example: Say there is a party on College and Parker or something. Living on south side, that's not a big deal. Living on Oxford and Hearst, that means walking home alone through campus late at night, possibly inebriated, where all the muggings happen. I can't have fun like that. And it's not like I can go with people, because NO ONE LIVES ON NORTHSIDE!

In terms of school, I'm not really sad to see this year go either. I'm bored with lower division classes, with long ass labs and bullshit assignments. Can't wait to be in all upper division stuff next semester. I'm planning on taking EE 105 (Microelectronic Devices), EE 120 (Signals & Systems), MCB 100 (General Biochemistry), History C176 (Multicultural Europe), and IDS 130 (Medical Ethics) -- take classes with me. Yeah, I know -- the chance of that happening is slim for most of you, but oh well. I can try, right? In any case, less class and less 8ams are something I'm looking forward to tremendously. Only TWO 8ams next semester!! Lowest, EVER!

Finally, I think what I'm looking forward to the most is not having to deal with all the crap that "apartment life" involves. Not having to buy stamps every month to pay the fifty bills that come. Not having to go grocery shopping every week. Not having to WALK two blocks to do laundry and deal with the goddamn bums all the time. Not having to spend 1.5 hours a day walking (I'm serious -- in a given day, I spend about 1.5 - 2 hours walking between places). Not having to eat the shitty food that I cook or the same fast food over and over and over again. Not having to "clean" the bathroom or the kitchen. Not having to wash dishes. Not having to fight with stupid utility companies over idiotic and incorrect charges. The list just goes on. Sure, going back to the dorms means having to deal with the drama, and the bullshit, and the weird people, and the waste of time, and the crappy DC food, but having lived the apartment life, I think both lifestyles equally suck. Being an adult sucks. Having to do stuff for yourself sucks. But living at home sucks too. Life sucks. But at least in the dorms I won't have to cook for myself. I can deal with the other crap.

What's most concerning about this year coming to a close is how insanely fast time has passed. It seems like I just snapped my fingers and half of college was gone. I feel like I've barely started to experience college, and here I am at the half way point. I know people who are graduating this year. I myself am going to be a junior next year. A third year. A similar point, at the end of sophomore year of high school comes to mind. I remember thinking about the same thing when people in my classes graduated in 1999, and before I knew it, 2001 had arrived and I too was graduating. I still have too much stuff to do before I get out of college. Time needs to slow down! I'm in my last half year of being a teenager. In just five months, I'm going to be TWENTY. TWENTY!? TWO DECADES? What the hell? I hadn't really thought about this until last week, when I was in line at the Crossroads at the first annual CalSO Crossroads Extravaganza, and two girls accidently cut me in the pizza line, then said, "Sorry sir" to me. WHAT THE HELL?! "SIR?!" Granted I was dressed in business casual that day, but STILL. I'm not that old dammit. Don't call me sir! The only thing worse that could have happened is if someone had called me "Mr. Nafday." I might have broken down and cried. Except I'm dead inside, and can't cry. But that's besides the point.

In any case, all I can really say about this year coming to a close, and my stint as an apartment dweller ending, is that I'm looking forward to what lies ahead. Summer and CalSO promise to be exciting, and I really hope next year dealing with freshman types is bearable. Whatever said and done, I'm definitely ready for a change. Guess not all endings have to be that sad.