January 17, 2004

The Awful Truth

For many months now, I have been investigating a very unusual phenomenon, and having drawn my conclusions, I feel it is imperative that I share my findings with the populace at large. Despite the severity of my inferences, this is not the time for tact or subtleties, so I'm just going to say it: little kids are whack!. They look like humans, more or less, but don't let their clever disguises deceive you. While displaying all physical attributes traditionally associated with the human species, they behave in a manner which is incomprehensible, unpredictable, and indeterminate. Having had numerous close encounters (of the third kind) in the last few months, I can now confidently say that the little kids are probably one of the scariest things out there in that big, bad world!