April 05, 2004

Advocating Anarchy

7:55am. A brisk, cool, overcast east bay morning. Blossoming flowers, dewy leaves, and the cool wind off the bay. On campus, groups of students huddled together. There's excitement in the air; the pervasive sense of determination and idealism. Ordinarily, I would be impressed by such a site and awed by their resolve. But this is Berkeley, and more importantly, this is April. Nothing is what it seems.

As a part of the 95% (conservatively) of the student body that either doesn't give a shit about or actively hates the ASUC (I fall into the latter category, go figure), I have to say that the period of elections every spring is probably the worst time to be on campus. Not that the solicitor harassment is acceptable at any given time during the academic year, but during election times, this normally unacceptable rate reaches epic proportions, until you can't walk two feet without running into yet another vulture waiting to pounce. They surround every outlet to campus, crowd every street, and fill every crevice, until you just want to drop everything and beat the shit out of the next person that tries to say Hi, what's your name? with an outstretched hand and fake smile. For the two to three weeks during which elections last, innocent students are forced to bear with idiots with sticks and lunatics with flyers, while simply attempting to get an education. My personal favorites are the ones who walk with you to class. Any other place in the world, if you were to call the police and say, There's this guy with a stick following me around and he won't leave me alone, you'd probably get their attention. Here at Berkeley, all bets are off - it's election time! Guys with sticks following you around is the norm.

Perhaps a student of political science might look at this spectacle, and marvel at what an active political system UC Berkeley has. Well, the hell with that student and the hell with student government as well! Maybe things would be different if the ASUC actually served a function. Think back a bit. What stands out about the ASUC to you? Well, one memorable thing I remember regarding the ASUC was the election fiasco last year, where they spent in excess $70,000 on computerized elections. This number is unfathomable. How can you waste seventy thousand dollars for computerized elections? It doesn't make sense. Nothing about the ASUC ever does.

Weren't at Cal last year? Don't remember that mess? Well, how about something more recent. How about that senator who jokingly called another senator an underrepresented bitch? That's real cute. Good to know that our faithful senators are tolerant, accepting human beings, who have the common interests of all students in mind. Nothing even happened to this guy. He's still a senator! Don't give a shit about racism in government? Well, how about incompetence? Like the mess over Prop 54 where no one knew what the hell the rule on money for political campaigns was and all they did was bicker with each other. So, what redeeming qualities can we draw from these examples? Well, we've got foolish expenditures, intolerance, and stagnation. Exactly what I want from a representative body. (Please hold your jokes about Congress).

Obviously, the easy conclusion to draw here is that the ASUC is just another body (as so many bodies are) for wasting time and hard earned money, perpetuated by people who thrive on waste and nonsense. So what becomes of that fee in your tuition that you pay for the privilege of representative government? Don't ask me - as far as I'm concerned, it goes down a blackhole of bullshit. The really scary thought, though, is how much does this change when you enter the real world? Well, asides from the guys with sticks chasing you around, I don't see much of a difference. Disaffected? You don't know the half of it!