Rohit's Realm

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January 29, 2005

Breaking the Cycle

As any research finding on the subject can tell you, human beings are innately creatures of habit, counting on rituals and rhythms to keep themselves sane in their daily endeavors. This fact is especially true for me, the guy who counts on sitting in the same seat in every lecture hall and who is visibly perturbed when some idiot takes the seat first. So, you can imagine what might happen if something more seriously ingrained in my life than lecture hall seating (i.e., my shaving schedule) were to suddenly fall out of rhythm - I would go crazy. And that's exactly what happened last weekend.

The drama all started last weekend, after I returned home from the CalSO retreat. We came back late Sunday afternoon and I was feeling dirty, so I immediately showered and shaved without thinking. Little did I realize that this would throw me off schedule for more than a week with no end in sight. The next day I woke up with a 5 o' clock shadow on my face. Dammit! So, reluctantly I had to go on the rest of the day, and shave again at night. The same has continued for the last week. So much for breaking the cycle.

But Rohit, you dimwit, why can't you just shave in the morning with the 5 o' clock shadow or just wait a day and shave the next morning? Listen, assclown: don't you think I thought of that? It doesn't work! I hate sleeping having not shaved because it's itchy and hurts your face (one of the many reasons I will never grow a beard). As for shaving in the morning: what, are you kidding me? Do you realize what an effort it is to shave ever since I switched to a regular razor from my electric under the prospect of smoother skin with less electric burns? Could you be stupid enough to think I might waste all that time that could be spent doing other, more worthwhile activities (e.g., writing in my blog) when there isn't enough hair to warrant such an act? Of course not!

No, no. There doesn't seem anyway out of this problem; it looks like I'll be on the night shaving schedule from henceforth. So, if you see me wandering the streets of Berkeley aimlessly with a hopeless look on my face, now you know why. Once the cycle is broken, it's hard to get back to the way things were. Maybe someday I will think of a way to finally pick up the shattered pieces of my once promising life and mend them for the hope of a better tomorrow. Until then, leave me to my despair. There's no point in me dragging you down too; who knows, maybe this shaving schedule thing is contagious or something.


Fuck, dude, you are a shaggy bastard. I go for two weeks between shaving usually. Granted I typically have a quarter inch of hair on my face when I get around to it.

I have an idea, though: sleep on your back. If that doesn't work, take eleven Vicodin and then sleep on your back. If you're afraid that you may damage your body with drugs like Vicodin and prefer to fall asleep naturally, then PULL THE TAMPON OUT OF YOUR ASS AND BE A FUCKING MAN.

Thanks dude. I needed that one.

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