October 07, 2007

Cal's Dilemma

In what may come to be known as the biggest college football upset in a year teeming with them, Stanfurd yesterday beat #2-ranked U$C 24–23 in the final seconds of the game. I think I speak for most Cal football fans when I say that this unexpected result presents a moral and ethical dilemma of proportions unknown to humanity since Sartre first presented his famous example of moral conflict in 1957. Should we support—either implicitly, or worse, explicitly—our arch-rival's success against another, more worthy enemy, or should we remain strong—like McCarthy, a true American hero—in our hatred of all that is (cardinal) red? To wit, just as in Sartre's example, neither answer is particularly palatable. [...]

October 14, 2007

Boys Don't Cry

For those who have had the displeasure of making my acquaintance in so-called real life, it should hardly be surprising to learn that I have never been one to cry; my emotional unavailability is surpassed perhaps only by my unabashed elitism and perennial depression. Even my parents, who arguably would have the best perspective, readily admit that I almost never cried as a child. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I even felt like crying, let alone actually let loose a few salty tears in name of sorrow or misfortune—that is, until last Saturday night. [...]

October 03, 2007

Age and Accomplishment

There are exactly two days each year upon which one is urged—nay, forced—to reflect upon one's perceived accomplishments of the year that has past: one is New Year's Eve, the other, one's day of birth; unsurprisingly, most people choose to ring in both through dangerous amounts of intoxication. What might begin as mere consumption for the purposes of celebration quickly gives way to imbibition (or some variant thereof, depending on your intoxicant of choice) simply for the sake of inebriation—and escape, no matter how fleeting or futile it may prove to be in the proverbial grand scheme of things.

Why is our desire to avoid such reflection so potent? Certainly one could attribute it to some subconscious desire to avoid regretting past decisions, as I suggested earlier (in a different context), but I suspect the actual reason is far more insidious. Perhaps we wish to supplant introspection with intoxication precisely because we know implicitly—if not explicitly—that such retrospective analysis can only lead to one conclusion: that our past year has seen us accomplish nothing at all, and that the next year will likely be no different. Without doubt, this is a position in which I find myself today. [...]

October 16, 2007

Et tu, E-$? (Part 1)

As I likely need not remind you, dear readers, it's been a pretty bad week—or month/year/lifetime, depending on your perspective. What with Cal's heartbreaking loss last week, I thought—nay, prayed—that perhaps I had hit rock bottom (for the time being, of course—misery in a lifetime clearly knows no bounds). As per usual, I was wrong: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black. (If that expression appeals to you, check out this Demotivator®.)

What, curious readers might be wondering, could possibly be worse than a failure that nearly brought me to tears? Betrayal. That's what. [...]

October 24, 2007

Et tu, E-$? (Part 2)

Given the unprecedented number of e-mails I received over the past week, I do not deem it too far fetched to suggest that many readers are likely anxiously awaiting this article to see how the saga with my recently engaged friend E-$ would turn out. Please forgive my most egregious delay in responding—a combination of mind-numbing work, crushing grief (Cal lost again!), and unexpected intoxication rendered me incapable of synthesizing coherent thoughts for the better part of this past weekend (the insinuation being, of course, that had those events not occurred, I might have synthesized said thoughts cogently—a dubious proposition at best). Anyway, I last left you, dear readers, in a state of shock, having just hung up on my friend. The next day, I called her back, finally prepared to challenge her, not with anger, but with reason. [...]