October 03, 2008

Quarter Century

With the passing of this day, the third of October in the year of our Lord, two thousand and eight, comes a momentously irrelevant occasion. It is the day that marks my attainment of the much-coveted (and frequently obtained) quarter century status. On a dark day, twenty-five years ago, I arrived upon this planet, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Luckily for you, dear readers, I would not retain that sunshiny disposition for long, quickly trading in smiles for frowns and happiness for despair. For twenty-five long (and consummately miserable years), I have disgraced my family, my friends, myself, and society at large. With this post, I hope to continue in that storied tradition.

Last year, I chose to dedicate my post to introspection; today, I will dedicate it to circumspection (what?).

Having managed to survive for the past quarter century, what do I have to show for it? Do I have a job? No. Do I own any (real) property? No. Have I contributed anything to society ever? Not in the least. Really, all that I have in my life is this blog. Nothing else. In essence, I am just another deadbeat blogger closer to thirty than twenty whose accounts payable exceed his accounts receivable.

Where did my youth go? Down a (plastic) bottle of substandard alcohol, no doubt. The past twenty-five years have been a woeful tale of abject failure. The next twenty-five are sure to be the same.