September 26, 2009

Twelve Hours of Hate

For those who have had the extreme misfortune of having made my acquaintance, the subject of my consummate hatred for everything and everyone, myself most of all, should not be news. Nevertheless, even while we may understand that generally, I am a curmudgeon, the extent and obscurity of my hatred had never been studied in detail—that is, until this summer.

On a road trip back from New York to Chicago in August, my friend decided as we were leaving Manhattan to note whenever I said I hate something. Over the next twelve hours and a number of topics of conversation, he managed to create a list of thirty-one items—a window into my hatred, if you will.

The result was surprising, even to me. Damn, I'm a hater! For those who are interested, I have reproduced the list below in its entirety (the original will be framed).