September 05, 2007

Au Revoir California

Nearly 20 years ago, in October of 1987, I moved to California from the dirty confines of Baltimore, MD; tomorrow, having spent more than 80 percent of my (necessarily futile) life in the Golden State, I leave for hitherto uncharted territory: Chicago, IL. Though I should probably be feeling sad, or nostalgic, or at least something, strangely, I am not. I guess when I left San Francisco last month, I was already mentally prepared to leave California; the past three weeks loafing in Irvine at my parents' house have barely registered at all.

September 04, 2007

Raising the Bar

Since I was a very young boy, my parents have always warned me about the dangers of tempting Fate, and skeptic that I am, I have generally always looked upon such warnings with a mixture of bemusement and annoyance. Bah! What nonsense! Thus, it should be no surprise that last week, in a bout of characteristic irreverance, I did exactly what my parents have long warned me against: I tempted Fate most egregiously. Writing in reference to my classic 2003 rant about bureaucrat ineptitude in my newly self-published book, I observed that I doubt I have ever experienced a more frustrating level of bureaucratic incompetence in my life [than what was experienced with the College of L&S], though that is not for lack of trying. Lo and behold, my parents were right. The honor that was rightly held for more than four years by the esteemed liberal arts school at my alma mater has now passed to an even more worthy entity (or should I say, adversary): Cingular®—wait, I mean the new AT&T®. Raising the Bar™—of red tape, idiocy, and obstructionism.

September 10, 2007

Rohit Reviews: Cocaine

Given my top ten placement on Google for the phrase cocaine chic (in relation to this 2005 article) as well as my 2004 postulations about drug trafficking, you, dear readers, might very well be forgiven for assuming (erroneously, of course) that with this entry I hope to review (my own personal use of) cocaine; unfortunately (for all involved), this entry will not be that salacious. However, I will say that Dominic Streatfeild's 2001 undertaking, Cocaine: An Unauthorized Biography, is easily the most interesting and compelling non-fiction book I have ever read, period. Lofty claim, I know. But then again, it's a lofty subject.

September 30, 2007

Why More Douchebaggery is Better (for Law Students)

The first week of law school has come and gone, and with it, the requisite amount of reading, (case) briefing, and of course, (binge) drinking. Having previously heard the absolute worst about law students in general, and those at Chicago Law in particular, I must say that I have been rather pleasantly surprised by the low levels of douchebaggery that most of my fellow classmates have hitherto demonstrated.

Ostensibly this is a good thing: in a world full of douchebags, and in a profession teeming with them, there is hardly a need for elite law schools to respond to this most severe of societal problems by producing even more pretentious, elitist, heartless, soulless, self-absorbed, self-entitled, self-loathing (and sometimes, self-destructive) assholes, potentially sporting the 10° hat tilt and one (or more!) popped collars. And yet, therein lies the problem: with the exception of the 10° hat tilt and popped collar(s), I have just described myself. Which brings me to my point: perhaps douchebaggery is not a product of a law school education, but a necessary (yet clearly not sufficient) quality for admission. And in that scenario, I would argue that more exposure to douchebaggery is actually better for augmenting one's career prospects. The remainder of this article will lay out why this might indeed be the case. [...]

September 20, 2007

Tying the Noose: Criteria for Marital Bliss

Though I have not yet attained the age where relatives routinely harass me about asinine topics such as settling down or, worse, finding love, it seems that no conversation these days, whether it be with friends or strangers, is complete without a discussion of one's status, e.g., married, single, in an (open) relationship, hooking up, and so on, and so forth. It almost seems as though the older we get—and the more our thoughts and interests diverge—the more we cling desperately onto the rather banal topics of conversation that everyone can relate to (e.g., money, cash, hoes) for fear that without these topics, we might have nothing to say to one another at all. And while I have no qualms about answering the question, whether the answer be single or otherwise, in recent times, I have noticed that the former answer seems to generate rather inexplicable angst amongst the self-avowed (and necessarily self-deluded) hopeless romantics of the world.

To disabuse these misguided readers (and/or friends) of this angst, I will now present my personal criteria for successfully tying the noose—I mean, knot—so that they might finally understand that though my life will likely never be one of happiness or fulfillment, it will certainly be one of legacy and wealth. [...]

September 10, 2007

Hello Hyde Park

After four days, 2,021 miles, three motel rooms, and entirely too much fast food, I arrived yesterday afternoon in Chicago, Ill., my new home for (at least) the next three years. Surprisingly, this was only my third time in the Windy City; before deciding to move out here for graduate school, I had been to Chicago exactly twice: once for a job interview in 2004, and once for a school visit in April of this year. My first day here has been non-stop, and though I have not yet made it out to downtown, I did manage to wander through Hyde Park today.