October 04, 2003

A Quarter-Life Crisis

I just turned 20 today. Or yesterday. Or whatever. You know what they say... your birthday is not over until you go to bed, right? So, technically, I am writing this entry on my birthday, even though it will show up as October 4^th. The more important factor here is that number: 20... twenty... two decades.

Oh my God! Where has the time gone? Why am I suddenly so old? Why do I shudder when I think of anyone born after 1990? I do not even want to think about someone born after 2000! How about 2003 and a whole two decades younger than me? I have reached 20 years of age, and discovered that I am not much different now than what I was 10 years ago. Sure, things have changed—I am a lot taller now, my voice is deeper, and I can use bigger words, but other than those minute details, what has really changed? I still do not know what I want to do with my life, I still do not support myself, I still do not know how to fill out my own taxes. What is more scary is that in the next ten years, not only will I be forced to pick a profession, support myself, and learn how to do taxes, but I might be married and have kids and shit like that. Buy diapers instead of computers? Hell no!

Life is 2/3 over, perhaps not technically, but most definitely metaphorically. In using this terminology, I am making a reference to my Age Manifesto, a theory which I have developed, but not yet published. More on this later, but the point is that life is only yours until you turn 30, and now I have only 10 years left to enjoy it! Some of you may consider this to be a radical, and perhaps, unsettling concept, but I assure you that it is completely founded in truth. And don't worry. I mean what I say and I say what I mean—when I turn 30, I will not deny that my life is over, or try to make excuses about how 30 is not that old. When I turn 30, I will be old, and just as some kid born yesterday will be excited about turning 10, and some kid born in 1993 will have to come to terms with turning 20, I will just have to accept my age and move onto life as an old man. I start the first part of that journey today, as someone who is not even a teenager anymore; I start that journey as an adult, whatever that means. Stay tuned for the Age Manifesto, coming soon...