Rohit's Realm

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May 24, 2007

Perfect Strangers

When I originally began this post, some 12 hours ago, sitting in an uncomfortable chair in Omaha's Eppley Airfield (it isn't even big enough to be considered an airport, I suppose), I had intended to discuss all the memorable events in my three day venture to what has to be the most bucolic and mind-numbingly nondescript city in vast, abysmal expanse known as Middle America. However, upon further reflection, I realize that besides arriving on a plane in which I was literally one of four people under 200 lbs. (the other three were the female flight attendants—enough said), nothing about this trip was worth remember beyond a week (or even a day)—that is, until my flight from Denver to San Francisco, when I met what in another time and place might have very well been my soulmate.

OK. Fine. All the recent positivity aside, I'm not idealistic enough to actually believe in the concept of soulmates (though I do find it to be a nice idea), and even if I did, I am certainly not optimistic enough to expect that I might one day meet mine—especially in Denver, Colorado, of all places; but, ignoring all that for the moment, the fact remains that I met someone—a perfect stranger, in fact—with whom I felt an incontrovertibly immense connection. Just how incontrovertibly immense, you might ask? Well, suffice to say that in the roughly two and half hours (gate to gate) that I spent next to this woman, we talked about things that I have never shared even with those with whom I am (supposedly) most intimate. We talked about life, death, and everything in between with an air of honesty and vulnerability that I am for the most part completely incapable of generating.

What is it about perfect strangers that brings us to our most vulnerable in a way that our closest friends and family cannot? Is it the lack of intrinsic judgment? The safety of anonymity? The excitement of mental attraction (a much more potent force than physical attraction, in my opinion)? Who knows? Not I, that is for sure. But I can say that it does, and has before for me, just not quite as poignantly as today.

So, what happened afterwards, the curious reader might want to know? Will my potential soulmate be making an appearance on Rohit's Realm? A guest post, perhaps? Alas, it is with mixed emotions that I must report that she will not. As we were getting ready to disembark the plane, I realized that though she knew almost all that there was to know about me, and I about her, we did not even know each others' names. I made eye contact with her as I stood up, and held it for a long time, waiting as the sands of time inevitably ran down our time together (and the slow-moving idiots in front of us finally began to file out). Finally, she stretched out her hand: Valerie. I accepted the greeting (and valediction): Rohit. It was a pleasure.

And with that, I turned around and started walking up the aisle. As I did, my thoughts turned to all the shit I had been taking recently from Audrey, G-Unit, et al., for not contacting another such perfect stranger. I stopped and looked back. Should I ask her for her phone number?

At that moment, she once again made eye contact and gave me a smile that I will possibly remember for the rest of my life. No. Some moments are best left unsullied by the uncompromising platitudes of reality. Without another thought, I turned back around, continued forward, and left the plane, never once looking back. Such is life: brief, fleeting moments of pure happiness lost amongst days, weeks, months, and years of tepid monotony.

(Oh, and by the way, please feel free to leave any disparaging remarks attacking my masculinity in the comments section below. I much prefer caustic written comments to arbitrary phone calls late at night calling me a little girl [ahem, Katie!].)


First of all, you are a little girl, not only for not calling back the girl of your dreams, but also for letting another soulmate slide by the wayside. Second, I find verbally abusing you to be quite therapeutic and have no intention of stopping my late night phone calls. Third, you enjoy the verbal abuse, so shut up and go back to crying over this girl you met on the plane.

First of all, my parents now live in Omaha (or at least over the river in Council Bluffs). I will be visiting them in two weeks, and I only weigh 194 pounds. So a big fuck you to you from me.

Second of all, this is what Craig's List's missed connections are for. Give it a try.

Third of all, you're a pussy, and I question your manhood. Otherwise, great post.

I feel compelled to impart the wisdom that you might have had you seen how pathetic you truly are:

Stop being a tool and grow some balls, you stupid asshole.

I hope I got the inflections right. I was trying to sound exactly like you.

6 words: Be Ari Gold, not Josh Weintein.

Ro, three letters for ya: A.B.C. Always. Be. Closing. And while you're at it, give up all this fucking sentimental shit. You ain't fooling nobody...

One word: Pa-thet-ic!
But, you know what, the same exact thing happened to me, with a wonderfully sculpted man from Scotland, on my return flight to Oakland, from NYC. It's douche bag penises like you that prevent brilliant woman like me from getting married and procreating!

Katie, I hate you.

Jon, if it's any consolation, the last time I saw you, you didn't look an ounce over 175.

Lisa, I thought the point of us breaking up was so that you would stop bothering me.

Phillip, damn you! You know Ari Gold is my hero. I can't believe you went there.

KT, you might have a point.

Ryan, don't blame me because you couldn't close the deal ;)

Rohit, you have provided your own answer, to the question of "what is the purpose of life..." when you wrote, "Such is life: brief, fleeting moments of pure happiness lost amongst days, weeks, months, and years of tepid monotony."

The more appreciation you can develop for what life has to offer, instead of what it seems to not... the more you can enjoy what you have and what you have to potential to do, to know, and become. You have an excellent way with words!

I first stumbled on your blog while googling "emotional unavailibility" as I was lamenting how a potentially enjoyable emotional connection I was hoping to develop with someone felt short circuited due to, I'm guessing his fears or whatever... And, as an idealistic, romantic, and very emotional person, the kind you like to skewer.... I found your injection of rationality to be a welcome "reality check" like a splash of cold water makes you alert when you have grown groggy. I would never surrender idealism, as there is much joy in knowing and experiencing love... but agree that human relationships are a whole different animal having little to do with the ideals and ideas we have about love. Don't want to be too wordy, but I will finish off with... human love offers a glimpse of a perfection - evolved by nature... and as such is a natural living human experience... but really should not be limited to the realm of human relationships when it can encompass so much more (sorry to be vague but..)

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