February 10, 2008

Oh Responsibility, How I Loathe Thee

One of the great paradoxes of my (necessarily futile) life is my perverse and often baffling ability to consistently balance my responsibilities in the professional/academic sphere while simultaneously remaining mired in dysfunction sufficient to shock the senses in my so-called personal life. How is that someone who rarely showed signs of cracking under the long hours and constant stress of college or corporate America can not seem to get on top of such routine trivialities as bills, grocery shopping, cooking, and going to the gym?

Ostensibly, the skills required for success in one do not differ substantially from those required for the other. Yet, the mountains of semi-read Wall Street Journals, half-unread Economists, open books, empty food wrappers, washed but not folded laundry, suitcases, stray receipts, and other garbage of unknown origin or utility that pervade my room, do seem to suggest that I lack some crucial skills to manage my personal life.

Or perhaps, it is not the skills I lack, but the motivation. Whereas I care a lot about the things I devote my time to (e.g., work, school, personal projects such as this site, etc.), I fail to see the value add in consistently filing papers or like activities. To be honest, though others may be horrified by the trash that litters my room, I am not bothered. For the most part, I can find what I need when I need it, and if I cannot, I clean enough to the point that I can. The attention to detail and obsessive-compulsive behavior that dominates the remainder of my life simply does not play out in the personal sphere.

High on the list of things that does not endear itself to me is doing taxes. Though only a yearly occurrence, since graduating from college, the task has become increasingly onerous, and each year, it is harder to muster the motivation to pound through it. For example, this year, I have to again file taxes in multiple states (damn travel!), not to mention dealing with multiple investments, and additionally, address tuition deductions, if any. Obviously, since I am single and without dependents, the entire process will not be that bad, but still, I really just do not want to do it.

Very early on in the history of this blog, I observed that I could not really think of anything worse than adulthood, and its infinite number of minute, yet mind-numbing responsibilities. Almost six years later, solidly in my mid-20s, I still cannot think of anything worse than having to do these menial tasks for the rest of my life. If nothing else, at least I am consistent.