October 16, 2008
Rohit the Plumber
For those of you who, like me, have been avidly following the 2008 presidential campaign since it began nearly two years ago, the next three weeks are likely to be insufferable. In less than a month, the dirty, unwashed, ignorant, despicable masses will emerge from their collective television-induced stupor for, perforce, a grand total of five minutes to select the most powerful person in the world in the most important election in a generation. Needless to say, my cynicism has been running amok these days—what shred of credibility said despicable masses might have had with me was eviscerated by the open arms with which the consummately unimpressive (and quite possibly corrupt) hitherto unknown Governor of Alaska was greeted. And while I have generally tended to eschew explicit political affiliations—in life in general and on the venerable Realm in particular—I feel compelled to break my own rules today.
As I have mentioned before, I do not agree with every one of Obama's policy positions. Indeed, I quite disagree with some of his stands that are, in my mind, far too populist. In this way, I am by no means an Obamamaniac.
At the same time, in the words of my (conservative) friend, John McCain is a war-mongering lunatic
and his increasingly ludicrous behavior following the moronic decision to suspend
his campaign have made me lose any faith I might have once had in him (say, in 2000). I was always planning to vote for Obama (I want to be able to vote for someone who I think is intelligent), but this week marked an unprecedented step for me: I donated to his campaign.
That's right. Me, broke as all hell, and leveraged more than an i-bank holding a SIV of a CDO of a credit-default swap of junk-rated Alt-A (liar
) loans from Miami, donated to a political cause I do not even fully agree with. Now, it was only $25, but it was matched by another donor, so a grand total of $50. Big whoop, right? Maybe, but it certainly was a big deal for me. So, I am finally out on the record as having supported a godless lib'rul at one point. There go my chances at ever being a politician. (Then again, those chances probably ended when I suggested that we use tasers to exile bums to Alcatraz. Take back the 'Loin!!!!)
While we're on the subject, for those of you out in California, Vote No on Prop 8. As the classic Facebook group says, Don't like gay marriage? Well, don't get one and shut the fuck up.
Denying rights to people has never led anywhere good. It is time for us to extricate ourselves from the shameful—and shameless—hypocrisy of the past. Sanctity
of marriage? Please.
OK, I will get off my soapbox now. You can return to your life, and I will return to hating the masses and most importantly, myself.