October 27, 2008

Hanging It Up: Why I Ought to Kill Myself

Those readers who have suffered the gross misfortune of having been with me for a few years now might recall a consummately innocuous article I published in mid 2006 that would later bring me the mild infamy that follows from a high Google ranking for an obscure phrase—say, for the query killing oneself. Needless to say, as my (despicable, necessarily futile) continued presence on this planet suggests, that article was not the proverbial cry for help (as perhaps this one might be considered to be) misleading though its title may be. Today, in light of a very improvident turn of events, I am forced to leave behind theoretical contemplation for very practical consideration.

What catastrophic event might have brought me, already constantly adrift in a turbulent sea of mediocrity, loneliness, and despair, to this woeful condition, the mildly concerned reader might ask? Surely, it could not be anything of little moment. As extensively documented on this site, I have managed to survive a plethora of withering failures and accepted repeated acts of shameful hypocrisy, all without needing to seriously considering ending it all. Why the sudden change of heart?