Rohit's Realm - San Francisco (City)

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October 23, 2006

Insecurity Through Ineptitude

As any self-respecting computer scientist worth her salt could tell you, in the last few years a big stink has been made about the concept of security through obscurity (long story short, it is more or less stupid). Much less has been written about the entirely false illusion of security bought by idiotic, time-consuming, and generally useless methods, or as I like to call it, insecurity through ineptitude. With the recent release of MS IE7 as well as my regrettable encounters with a multitude of ridiculous and generally maddening building security measures, I thought it'd be the ideal time to let out some rage.

November 03, 2006

Pave the Roads, Assholes

With the 2006 midterm elections nearing, and the politicos, hacks, wonks, and worthless bloggers with delusions of grandeur of every persuasions all beside themselves to cover the election, I thought I might interject my always unwanted 2 cents. For us Californians lucky enough to live in a state in which our representatives are a foregone conclusion—and thus, our vote inconsequential when compared with, say, some shit hole in Ohio (three cheers for the electoral college!)—this election will really be about the large number of nebulous propositions that are on the ballot. I have not yet had a chance to go through them all, but I'm willing to bet that they are, as usual, mostly futile efforts to do good or worse, help people that will without fail ultimately end in billions of dollars in wasted expenditures and no tangible benefit to society. Thus, allow me to propose a Proposition that goes against the political grain and purports to provide an immediate benefit regardless of one's party affiliation, race, creed, or socioeconomic status. I call it Proposition 0: Pave the Roads, Assholes.

January 19, 2007

Next Stop, Wimbledon

More than one year after making a resolution to return to the tennis courts, I finally picked up my racket and played a full set of tennis. Last year's rain and travel in the first part of the year prevented me from joining the Golden Gate Tennis club; the latter part of the year, I was too busy to do much but work. This year promises to be different: next stop, Wimbledon. And by Wimbledon, I really mean the concrete court in the Richmond district with weeds to add the semblance of a lawn court. (Golden Gate Park courts charge money, those fascist bastards!)

March 09, 2007

One Thousand Words

As the old aphorism goes, a picture is worth a thousand words, and that is particularly true when talking about Unfortunately, due to my recent battle with existential angst and a bout of all-around somnolence, no photos have made it to my web site in almost four months to complement my mostly irrelevant writings. Today, I remedied that, so those of you tired of reading my mindless verbosity can revel instead in good, old-fashioned drinking and debauchery that is almost synonymous with the Realm..

May 31, 2007

My Personal Zodiac

Though not too long ago I wrote a facetious entry about vigilante justice with respect to the Zodiac Killer, as it turns out, that entry was extremely prescient in ways that are anything but farcical: that's right, I have found my own personal Zodiac that I must dedicate my life to finding, and am willing to risk just about anything to achieve success. And while my much-touted romantic quest to ruin my life has yielded negligible results in the past two years, this particular quest promises to not only ruin my life, but possibly end it altogether.

June 11, 2007

Mr. Rohit's Neighborhood

Despite my well-deserved reputation as an incorrigible cynic, my online popularity as both a suicidal nihilist and worthless yuppie asshole, and my recently epitomizing post-adolescent existential angst, as most of you have likely understood, I am often guilty of shameful hypocrisy that threatens to destroy the very pillars upon which I have created my (awesome) online persona. One particularly egregious instance of said insincerity is with respect to my position on small children; specifically, all the while publishing derisive articles condemning children (and especially, babies) as fundamentally inhuman, and questioning the validity of associating with such troglodytes, I have volunteered as a teacher at San Francisco elementary schools with the Junior Achievement program. For shame!

June 14, 2007

The Cross of Syringes

Hot on the heels of today's announcement in the San Francisco Chronicle that my dearly beloved (or intensely loathed) City of Berkeley is (finally) attempting to do something about the awful menace of transients and cracked-out bums that terrorize its streets, I would like to proudly announce the official release of the San Francisco Platform (Hope for a New Tomorrow) and the candidacy of my roommate, G-Unit (a.k.a. BliNG), for Mayor of San Francisco. For too long, we noble denizens of this great city have chafed under the yoke of soul-crushing inefficiencies and mind-numbing bureaucratic ineptitude. No longer shall we stand by as our enlightened city is overrun by bums, idiots, tourists, hipsters, and junkies! Have faith, ye with jobs and homes, and you shall be rewarded.

July 08, 2007

The End's Not Near, It's Here

It seemed only fitting that having practiced abstinence for so long that I lose my YouTube-linking virginity with a trailer for our house-cooling party, scheduled for next Saturday, July 14, 2007. Those who have seen Apocalypse Now will be especially entertained, I imagine. And if you're going to be in the area (i.e., San Francisco Bay Area) and did not get the invite, drop me a line. One of two things could have happened: either we simply forgot you, or we intentionally did not invite you. You owe it to yourself to find out which one it was.

July 12, 2007

The End's Not Near, It's Here (Part 2)

You know what they say about virginity, right? You can only lose it once, and once you have, there's no way of getting it back. On that note, here's the second trailer for our upcoming house-cooling party, following on the heels of the critically acclaimed first one. Bigger, longer, and uncut, this video borrows heavily from the series finale of the landmark television program, The O.C.. That's how we do it in The I.S.. Enjoy!

July 13, 2007

The End's Not Near, It's Here (Part 3)

Below is the third (and final) trailer in the seminal The End's Not Near, It's Here series, entitled Good Phil Hunting. The party is tomorrow, starting at 9 p.m. Enjoy!

July 19, 2007

Ass Fuck Strikes Again

Speaking of douchebags, in the last three months, the disaffected boys of 1524 have been terrorized by a Class-A douche who seems to go by the ever-witty (especially given our location) moniker of Ass Fuck. Now, as I am sure all of you are well aware, I am (rather inexplicably) drawn to the concept of quixotic vigilante justice (I suppose we are all products of our environment), but honestly, today was the first time I actually considered exercising my (sacred) Second Amendment right to bear arms—and I'm not talking about my biceps here.

August 20, 2007

Bye Bye San Francisco

As some of you may know, last Friday, August 17, 2007, was my last day in San Francisco, Calif., where I have lived since graduating from college. I tendered my resignation effective that day, and in September, will be off to graduate school in Chicago, Ill. I could wax on philosophic (as I am prone to do), but in the end, I think the update I sent to family and friends last week surmises my thoughts fairly well. Stay tuned for more information in the coming weeks.

March 20, 2008

La Persistencia de la Memoria

The Persistence of Memory

Salvador Dalí
La Persistencia de la Memoria

With the first week of Spring Break nearly over, and my (triumphant) return to California, in particular the Bay Area, drawing to an unavoidable close, I cannot help but succumb to the memories of a bygone era that this trip has evoked with such puissance as to shock the senses—good ones and bad, those that stir laughter, and those that conjure tears (insofar as I am capable of such emotions). The memories that hardly seemed indelible even a month ago have demonstrated themselves to be just that in the course of less than a week. To say that the past few days have been surreal would be grossly unjust; a waking dream is perhaps the closest I can come to describing it.

April 02, 2008

The Spring Break That Was Neither

Spring Break. The phrase conjures up images of warm, tropical beaches, scantily-clad women, and tequila—lots and lots of tequila—in your mind, does it not? Unfortunately for me, I sort of hate the beach (despite having spent a little less than half my life in (the) O.C.), have already been to such destinations as Cancún and Miami, and in any case, stand no chance with scantily-clad women of any sort, no matter how much tequila they may have consumed. Instead, I chose to spend my break on a bicoastal whirlwind tour that left me perhaps more tired than before. And considering that today was probably the first day where it was both sunny and above 45° F here in Chicago, one might say that my so-called Spring Break was neither spring nor a break. [...]

July 02, 2008

The MTA Suck Factor

As anyone who has ever suffered the gross misfortune of being forced to use the disgraceful San Francisco MUNI knows altogether too well, the number of trains that go by in the opposite direction while you wait impatiently, alternating between swatting away bums and staring at one's watch with an ever-increasing homicidal rage, is a decent proxy for one's frustration with that woeful system at any given time. Cody the Freak crystallized this concept as the MUNI Suck Factor, which BChalk later modified to the MUNI Suck Ass Factor, as I discussed earlier. While this conceptualization served me well in SF, it requires modification to properly reflect the state of affairs in New York City, as there are several more variables to consider in gaging anger and frustration.

July 06, 2008

Vindication at Long Last

Almost two years ago, I wrote an impassioned article about the deplorable condition of the roads in San Francisco, Calif., imploring the incompetent many charged with the city's upkeep to do something—anything—about it. When nothing became of my cries for help (as nothing should, considering the trivial and marginalized existence that I lead), the disaffected boys of 1524 released the San Francisco Platform to rectify the gross injustices that faced our venerable city. The first priority was to pave the roads (assholes), followed closely by flushing the 'Loin clean of the failed human beings that currently inhabit it (Taking Back the 'Loin), and privatizing the much-hated MUNI system (of which, more here and here).

Though our mayoral challenge imploded in a tepid burst of complacence and unplanned life events (no, no one impregnated anyone; both G-Unit and I moved across the country to go to graduate school), at long last, we have found vindication for all the blood, sweat, and tears that we expended. As P-Diddy pointed out today, our fight has not been in vain. The roads in SF are finally being paved!

October 14, 2010

Touch the Magic: the Bay Area

Last I left you, dear readers, I was ensconced in a most melancholy state, brooding somewhere in the depths of Orange County. A lot has transpired since then. For starters, I have moved to a new time zone and am writing this from my new apartment. But more on that (very) soon. Today, I discuss what passed in the interim, namely a trip to the Bay Area for my five-year college reunion, Cal's Homecoming Game against UCLA, and most importantly, a reunion tour with the maladjusted boys formerly of 1524.